I knew it was not going to be your run-of-the-mill day when after having this nice fellow explain to me the difference between stable coin vs. crypto currency, someone pulled me aside and said, "Yeah, Chris is actually a Fed Governor..."
Like "The FED, Fed?!"
Yep.
Hey, Chris - do a brother a solid and let us know about the particulars of that impending interest rate decision....
And THAT is only one of a myriad of reasons that the Stayer Lot tailgate is the magical place it is.
But I digress. For the second straight week, I'm honored to have a special guest contributor, Matthew C. Lindon ofPark City, UT -- Citizen Scientist and itinerant Man of Letters, with a timely, dare I say necessary, thought.
Thanks, Matt.
Pickleball -- A Parable.
I play Pickleball from time to time and although it is a funny game with a silly name, I find it is mildly athletic, moderately strenuous, and tremendously social. Played mostly by older folks 40-80, it is nuanced and evolving every time I play. The ratings are like our GPAs with 2.0 a beginner, 4.0 a Master Student and 5.0 a PhD Grad season. My rating is the same as my engineering GPA at 2.67. Just enough to be acceptable, without being a dick.
Maybe overrated but I’m going with it. I live on my old reputation and sporty uniforms.
You inevitably play P-ball with your personality where good players are patient, waiting for the other side to make a mistake. Who lives life like that? So, I tend to want to go for lines, put them away, or hit the human-highlight-reel shots, and I don’t win much.
A typical game involves underestimating the opposition and falling behind at the beginning, blaming it on bad luck, or not wanting to waste too much Pball capital on the deplorables. Attempts are made to even the score, but my low percentage shots are exactly that. Hubris.
Eventually with enough adjustments, pep talks and trash talking we may pull even but indubitably take our foot off the gas and lose ignominiously. My partners, usually attractive competitive women, look at me with disdain as I sulk back home devoid of any self-esteem or pride.
None for you.
But then I realize why they call it Pickleball. It is a silly, stupid GAME. It doesn’t mean anything. And I think of all the joy and celebration of the other team that won and how they told all their friends and took it back to their retirement village to burn some couches and roll some cars. And I know that the sum-total of joy in the world has increased exponentially because some down-and-out Pball chumps have beaten the local high rolling, pros-from-dover, who need another meaningless win like a fish needs a bicycle. And I feel good again.
M. C. Lindon
Quote of the Week
"There are lies, damn lies and statistics..."
Prime Minister Benjamin Disraeli
To be clear, Northern Illinois was a program loss. Virtually everyone disappointed.
While the offense will take the bulk of the heat -- deservedly so -- and the stat sheet will show the D only gave up 16 points ("you shouldn't lose by giving up that few points"), they don't get off the hook. UNI got basically anything they wanted, whenever they needed it.
ND's offensive issues terrify me. I don't see a quick fix. But the defensive 'no show' when we needed it most was a far greater disappointment.
One man's opinion.
Word of the Week.
Used in a sentence paragraph: Young Jerrence was shook. The variety of emotions hitting him all at once was like going through the five stages of grief in the time it used to take a Polaroid to develop.
Not good.
What had he just witnessed? To say it was nothing like the game Notre Dame played the week earlier in College Station would be a massive understatement.
Quite simply, it was a 'from the mountain top to the outhouse' level embarrassment. Worse than merely losing a game, the shambolic performance cast into doubt whether the program had a leadership problem.
Jerrence knew that while cooler heads might prevail inside the university, the torches 'n pitchforks were gonna be out amongst the unwashed masses -- almost assuredly beginning the call for defenestrating the head coach, a drumbeat that will surely be maintained for the entire season.
Jerrence wasn't to that point, attitudinally, at least not yet. Still, he couldn't help hearing the words of a favorite Graham Parker song in his head. The shock of this loss felt... different, way worse.
I know what they're saying yeah I'll never get back again
I pushed my luck this time and I'm on the skids
But I know what I'm doing I just can't stop doing it
Me and my companion, hell bent to ruin it...
Game 2 Thoughts
Drive to the night - far as it goes
Away from the daylight - into the afterglow
Somewhere unforgiven...
Short and well, not sweet.
1. One wonders what Leonard looks like in practice. This can't be written off as simply 'he had no Spring practice', can it?
2. UNI averaged 6 yds./play -- but their 2nd downs had to exceed that. One could argue that was the NDdefense's big fail. For as many 2nd and longs that the Huskies had, every 3rd down seemed to 2-3 yards or less.
Also, and not unrelated: we don't tackle very well.
3. Special teams. Where is this "Thunder From Down Under" Aussie punter?
4. Meanwhile, back in the 1842 Club...
Do you have anything stronger -- like mushrooms?
5. Sure, getting your name on a building is always impressive, but GETTING YOUR NAME ON A MEMORIAL FENCE...
Whoa.
Buddy's Buddy
If you had asked me before kickoff on Saturday, who should be Buddy's pal this week, I'd have said Johnny Tailgate -- a name which will mean nothing to the reader until they've attended a 2024 Stayer Lot tailgater. Then you'll kneel at his altar.
And I'm sure his time will come here.
By halftime, my vote had changed to the nice woman in the 1842 Club making my Basil Hayden Manhattans. And she didn't even have to be told to make it a double.
By the end of the game, and one would be fair to interrupt at this point and guess, "no one?"... but lest one lets despair completely overwhelm one (and I'm resisting), the vote goes to...
Jeremiyah Love. Arguably he should've been credited with the 2nd game winning TD - and had ND won, a spectacularly athletic TD run that ESPN would've probably run forever (and maybe they did).
11 carries, 79 yards.
2 receptions for 10 yards.
(Gee, might it worth considering getting him the ball more often?)
Anyway, the kid does not deserve to get thrown into the dumpster fire with the rest of the team.
He was (and is) a stud. Maybe the only one on offense.
RE-PETE (A shameless, illegal lift of Pete Sampson's weekly mail-bag)
Right now, as big of a fan as I am of Mr. Sampson, I'm a little miffed at him...
On his Independent podcast with Matt Fortuna, he opined that "Brian Kelly would've won that game."
That may be true - personally, I'm not sure - but really? Did we have to go there?
Felt like a little bit of an unecessary low blow. In any event, in lieu of him having a mailbag this week by the time I need to publish, find below a portion of his own post-game takeaway's -- focusing on the elephant in the room: is our present QB the guy to right this ship?
----------------------------------
When NBC’s Zora Stephenson asked Freeman in pregame about quarterback Riley Leonard’s debut in Notre Dame Stadium, it sounded an alarm that nobody heard.
“(Leonard) told us that last week he had a conservative approach against A&M, but today he wants to test the limits,” Stephenson said. “What do you want to see from him?”
“Just want to play within the offense,” Freeman responded. “I don’t, we don’t, need anything spectacular. Do exactly what your coaches tell you to do, play within the game plan and the rest will take care of itself. If we start trying to make plays and throw the ball down the field, then all of a sudden we’re playing out of character. Just do exactly what we want you to do, and the rest will take care of itself.”
Just last week Freeman pushed back on the notion Leonard’s deep ball accuracy was a weakness. He said he believed in Leonard. Now the coach wants Leonard to paint by numbers in the passing game against a MAC opponent?
This isn’t about Freeman being right or Leonard being wrong or vice versa. It’s that Freeman and Leonard apparently didn’t see Saturday’s game plan through the same lens. And now Notre Dame has the worst loss of the college football season with a big-money QB yet to throw a TD.
There are two big questions with Leonard this week. Does Freeman think the transfer gives Notre Dame the best chance to win? And if Leonard doesn’t, does Freeman have the constitution to bench a captain who was a major acquisition in the transfer portal?
To pull the plug on Leonard after two games feels like a white flag. But to put Leonard back out there when he’s struggling to connect with Notre Dame’s receivers or read defenses… what would change in the season’s third week?
But the problems with ND’s offense are not all down to Leonard. The offensive line remains undercooked. The running backs are dynamic with the ball but a negative on the offense without it. Receivers don’t get open. Other than Beaux Collins, they don’t help out the quarterback, either. If not for Mitchell Evans’ return, the tight end position was a production black hole last week. Notre Dame is one of five programs yet to throw a touchdown pass this season. Only two programs in the country have converted fewer third downs than Notre Dame.
Mike Denbrock and his staff have a ton to correct. A new QB wouldn’t help that.
Source: The Athletic
September 9, 2024
Cocktail of the Month
When thinking of a cocktail that'll provide that knock-you-on-your-ass instant karmic jolt when you most need to leave planet earth, even for a few precious minutes... what springs to mind?
-- Long Island Ice Tea?
-- Black Russians?
-- Zombie?
I recently read about something charmingly called an "AMF" (for 'Adios, Motherfucker') which involves vodka, tequila, rum, gin and blue caraçao.
Yikes. But Saturday afternoon, I would've been mainlining that sh*t.
Still, after last weekend's debacle, I'd like something less flammable but more hallucinogenic. Harkening back to the good old days when this particular spirit was rumored to cause visions and convulsions (insert ND football joke here).
Oscar Wilde's Absinthe
1954-1900
Three nights I sat up drinking absinthe, and thinking that I was singularly clearheaded and sane.
The waiter came in and began watering the sawdust. The most wonderful flowers, tulips, lilies and roses sprang up and made a garden of the café.
Don't you see them, I said to him.
"But Monsieur, there is nothing there."
O. F. Wilde
1 oz. absinthe
1 sugar cube
Pour absinthe into absinthe glass. Place a slotted spoon over the mouth of the glass and set your sugar cube on top of it.
Slowly drip 3 oz. of water over the sugar cube, allowing the water to dissolve the sugar, dripping the sugar into the glass.
Stir and enjoy.
Source: How To Drink Like A Writer
Writing by Margaret Kaplan
Schedule 2024
August
31@Texas A&M W
September
7Northern Illinois L
14@Purdue
21Miami (OH) Alumni Hall gang reunion
28 Louisville
October
12 Stanford The Brothers Corrigan game
19@Georgia Tech
26 Navy
November
9Florida State Night game - accepting couch viewing bookings
16Virginia
23 @Army (Yankee Stadium) McSorley's anyone?
30@USC
December
20 1st round playoff game at ND Stadium -- see you there. (Maybe not.)
Wager 2024
Repeat this after me:
I'll never make fun of Albert's predictions again.
I'll never make fun of Albert's predictions again.
I'll never make fun of Albert's predictions again.
Note: If I STILL have anyone's win # wrong, please let me know!
Wins
Director - ND Equivalence
Domer
12
Christopher Nolan
The Nick Saban of the film world - Nolan is Mr. Swing For The Fences Big Idea Guy, even if every effort isn't always a home run.
But they are undeniably ... epic.
Just like a 12-0 season.
Kevin C, Lini
Matt L., Brian M.
Jay, John L.
Ray, Blair
John P.
11
Martin McDonagh
Hello, he's Irish!
Solidly predictable for always being really, really good. And as his reputation has been burnished, the star talent in his cast has followed.
Sound familiar?
Jerrence, Daryl
Jim S, Tim C.
Jerry C, Mike C.
Greg R., Bob S.
George, Raz,
Ted, Bob J.
Tim S.
10
David Fincher
Pretty much a stud in both film and TV formats.
Always interesting, albeit with palpably dark undertones... one is never sure how the story is going to end up.
Much like a 10 win season will feel like.
Pat B, Mike B.
Bill, Jim B.
Sloane, Alex
Phillip, Randy
Mike G.,Jerry P
Gutsch, Mark
Jim T., Brian W
9
Yorgos Lanthimos
Do I always understand what's going on his films? Nope.
But the ride is pretty enjoyable even when you don't know where you're going or even how you got there.
Ultimately, you might end up appreciating it more than you thought at the time.
Alvin, Garrett
8
Richard Linklater
Perhaps the product of recency bias - I quite liked 'Hit Man' - Linklater's films fall for this blogger into the "nice-fun-I see an interesting insight" category. They just don't feel especially memorable.
Like we'd view an 8 win season.
7
Wes Anderson
When does quirky/idiosyncratic become tiresome? When you feel like you're watching - again - an inside joke that you're not included in.
Anderson attracts an an all-star cast that no longer seems to add up to the sum of their parts.
In a word, disappointing.
6
Lars Von Trier
Uncomfortable. Unpleasant.
Disturbing.
Often off the rails, his films might be 'art' but it's tough to call it many people's definition of entertainment.
Schadenfreude of the Week.
It's a sad, sad week when schadenfreude is making up the sole source of anything resembling sports-related happiness for Jerrence:
Green Bay loses
$220M Packers QB gets hurt (and isn't that just most Philadelphian thing to do?)
Bears win despite Mr. Painted Finger Nails throwing for 90 yards.
Michigan. If ND had performed LIKE THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO, this should've been a sweet, sweet comeuppance for a program that adopted the Pete Carroll 'live in the ethical grey area' (then quickly get out of town).
Still nice but... and with USC coming in two weeks, I hope coach Moore is getting in his crisis management media training.
Colorado. Fun fact: Prime Time is now 0-7 in his last seven games against Power conference teams.
"Coach Harbaugh, there's a coach Sanders on the phone inquiring about exit strategies..."
Terry's Tools.
Let me just say that identifying Tools after Saturday's game is akin to having to consider fumigating your own house.
You know there could be a lot of vermin behind the walls, you just don't really want to confront it.
So you don't.
And so I won't either.
And yet, there's always one pest I can root out to show the boss that I DID enter the house and I DID exterminate something.
Thank you, University of Colorado.
1) Shedeur Sanders. I think the headline says it all:
This was after the kid left the field with 2 minutes left, not waiting to congratulate the winners. What did his coach (i.e., dad) have to say about this display of non-leadership? Nothing.
Name of the Month
If one is going to commit to full post-debacle self-loathing, why not finish the exercise with a genuine shoutout to Northern Illinois' star player:
Antario Brown
225 yards total offense:
20 carries, 99 yards
2 receptions, 126 yards
While some of us wondered if possibly he had a twin - Posterio - that was just petty, mean-spirited, sophomoric speculation as we watched the kid run through our defense basically anytime he needed to.
Like I said, a lot of self-loathing.
Final Thought
Now that my weekends have freed up - and we're inching closer to finally rehabbing The Crack Den guest house, hello Home Depot!
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