Week 3: Baby Steps

Out on the road

You're Willy Loman, you're Tom Jode.

Vladimir and Estragon

Kerouac, Ghengis Khan...

Dateline:  Flint Lake, IN

I could do the math but I don't want to - how many years of Linipalooza and the associated hi-jinx has there been?  

A dozen or so, I'm pretty sure.  

And without fail, the hosts - Jerry and (let's be honest) superstar Judy, do a remarkable job each and every year.  This year being no different.  

What one finds especially impressive - and amusing - is that, as the midnight hour inevitably tolls... and there's a handful of folks still loitering in the kitchen -  a moment which I think my wife, Defarge, believes to be 'her time' - Jerry has gotten increasingly overt in his inquiry of where, exactly, everyone has accommodations that night - while clarifying that it's not gonna be IN HIS KITCHEN.  Cute and futile - it's not like it inspires anyone to leave any quicker.

Aside, what's also impressive is the host's ability to consistently schedule something early morning the next day:  whether it be a CNBC talking head appearance or a meeting down at ND.   I'd like to say I admire that but, really, I think it's seriously flawed planning.

But that's not the point here.  My focus this year has to do with those that attend Linipalooza and the great distances many of them travel.  Every year they come in large numbers - I think its testimony to many things but mostly, the high character of the guests.  The continued connection to the relationships matter to them. 

The Corrigans were graced with two such long distance travelers, Albert and Jerome.  Closer to being mythical creatures than mere mortals, the two of them came to Chicago independently, yet not.  Such is the intertwined history of the two.    

Pick your interesting, unlikely pairings in history that they invoke - Butch & Sundance?  Maybe Thelma & Louise.  Okay probably more like Hekyll & Jekyll.

I say, how about Rosencrantz & Guilderstern?

Who?  (Look it up, JP.) 

Al & Jerry meet Tim & Gary

Two minor characters in Shakespeare's Hamlet, they're the focus of a now, highly lauded existential tragi-comedy (circa 1966) by noted playwright Tom Stoppard.  

The play follows the two bit players who often seem as halves of a single person... such is their banter - earmarked by both confusion and absurdist observation.  

Sound like anyone you know?   

At one point, one observes, "Look on any exit as being an entrance somewhere else."  

Positively Brunett-ian.

Or, "There must have been a moment at the beginning where we could have said 'no' - but somehow we missed it."   I think I've heard Cincotta say that exact thing.

And so it was this weekend.  Both surreal and insightful. 

As Sir Isaac Newton once opined, "If I have seen further than others, it is by standing on the shoulders of giants."  

Thanks, Albert and Jerome, for the awesome time hanging w Lisa, Ryan, Sloane and me. You guys are giants.

Quote of the Week

"The misery ended. 

The drama did not."        

Matt Fortuna 

The Athletic writer, friend of Gruley (don't judge) and periodic guest at the quarterly, invitation-only Class of '79 Arts & Letters dinners - summarizing Saturday's game and the lack of clear conclusions to draw from the outcome coming out of it.    He's not wrong.

Buckle up. 

Word of the Week

Used in a sentence paragraph:  Young Jerrence exhaled.  What a day - a weekend - it had been.  Talk about a 'long day's journey into night.'  

Good friends. Great parties. Mediocre golf. Baffling football.  The previous four days had it all.

Regarding the latter, Jerrence thought it reductive to say that the team simply wasn't very good.  There had to be more to their lack of proficiency - lack of success - than that. 

Didn't there?                                                                              

Linipalooza XII

Game 3:  Thoughts

If I didn't love you

I'd hate you... ... 

There was (is) a principle one learned early in one's client-side marketing career - at the time I believe it was called "The Proctor & Gamble Way" where, when evaluating a proposal, for example a new advertising campaign... one always leads with a positive remark in order to establish a positive atmosphere for the inevitable constructive criticism.

So even if you felt that the creative idea was complete shite, you could say something to effect of "Thanks for some very provocative thoughts. Let me start by saying your grammar was spot on.  The spelling? Flawless.  And your use of primary colors - exceptional. Now about the idea itself, did you even read the strategic brief?" 

Thus commences the evisceration.  With that in mind...

1) The Day. - and the tailgate - was spectacular.  One could not have drawn up a more perfect September afternoon in the Midwest.  Bravi a tutti to both the weather gods and, of course, the tailgate hosts.  

2) "We Need To Talk About Drew."   Pop quiz!

Q1.   How far was the average Pyne pass beyond the line of scrimmage? 

A.   0.65 yards.

Q2.  How many completed passes traveled more than 10 yards in the air?

                  A.   One.  (Mayer's TD was not.)

2) Officiating     Okay, I'll grant you the Cal offsides on the missed FG was a complete phantom call - and maybe a make up for...  not once reviewing a few of those highly suspect Cal receptions in the 1st half?!

3) Prop bets.  And not good ones, at that.  It's true testimony to the incompetence of the game when one loses a prop bet - taking the over - on whether EITHER TEAM will get a first down before the 5 minute mark left in the 1st quarter.

4). Foskey.  It'd about damn time. 

5) Turnovers (or lack thereof). 

How many have they forced this year.  That would be the empty set.  

But if there's any consolation, we're among impressive peer group also throwing a shut out:  Auburn, Temple and Fresno St.

6)  Brandon Joseph.   In the future, dude, regarding Hail Mary passes... JUST KNOCK IT DOWN!

Marcel and Jerrence react to the failed Hail Mary.

7)  Manti.  We knew it beforehand but easily the best part of the day was having him back on campus. 

Buddy's Buddy

Was it the halftime decision to head to the Morris Inn Bar (one couldn't continue to watch that game without some kind of adult beverage in one's hand) that drove the team - shamed them, really - to a decidedly more inspired 2nd half? 

In which case, credit the Al's - Brunett and Marcel - for facilitating such a decision.

Or was it coach Rees, no doubt feeling a little of the pressure himself, dropping F-bombs on his QB in a 'tough love' kinda management style?  Well, Pyne did go something like 13-14 passing after Tommy went full Tom 'do your f*cking job' Thibodeau on him.  As they say, it's not weird if it works.

Personally I'm going to turn to the running game.  While the O-line certainly showed up, back-to-back set your hair on fire false starts notwithstanding, I'm looking at the RB's and one guy in particular,  Audric Estime.  

Boy does he run hard.  

And boy, did the team need it. 

Honorable mention:  Savvy Jack.   In a surreal 'Letters to Penthouse' type fashion...

Dear ____________,

I'm a graduate of a small midwestern private university and I never thought this would happen to me.  After our school's football team won its first game of the year, my friend - we'll call him Jerry - and I found ourselves back at the site of the afternoon's tailgater, having a beer, noshing on fried chicken and chocolate chip cookies - and talking with a couple alumni from the visiting team, one of which was an actual Top Gun pilot.  But that's not even remotely the most interesting part of the end-of-day sequence.

After a while, Jerry and I began our way back to our car in the Stadium parking lot, loaded up with a styrofoam cooler of chicken (because why not) - having a walk that was maybe a couple hundred yards.

As we walked through the first intersection, friend Jerry yells, "Hey, how about a ride?"  --  whereby I turn to see him soliciting a well dressed man in a golf cart.  

It is the very familiar face of the university's Athletic Director.  I know this because he is on TV a lot and is a Big Fucking Deal. 

"Where you going?"

"Just over there."

"Sure, get in - you've got that cooler to carry, after all."

Okay, then: Jack Swarbrick be giving us a lift.  Cool. We hop in with Jerry riding shotgun and me in the back seat with an excellent view of the AD's head. His hair is short and immaculately groomed.  I wonder if he goes to Armando's and does he know Abe?  Probably.  My musings are interrupted as Jerry starts to tell the AD, "you gotta do something about the QB - Pyne is just not the answer.  And he's never gonna be the answer..."

Even at the time, the line of inquiry seemed, well, questionable. One gets limited, 1-to-1 time with a man who's literally shaping college athletics and you're spending it giving him grief about the mediocrity of this football team's QB?  After they just won their first game?  Not even a "hey, thanks for bringing Manti back."  

(Not the route I would've gone.  But then again, I had other matters on my mind, like could I inhale another piece of chicken in the limited time before we got to the car.)

Non-plussed, the AD informs Jerry, "You know, he did have an offer from Alabama..."

"Oh, really? I did not know that."  

I marvel at the witty repartee coming out of my friend.  One would never have known he'd been drinking for several hours.

We reach our destination, get out, thank our Good Samaritan and wave goodbye as he immediately accelerates with everything the little vehicle has to offer.  It is clear both that he cannot get away from us fast enough and that we have ruined it for any future post-gamers who Mr. Swarbrick might've considered assisting. 

The End

RE-PETE (A shameless, illegal lift of Pete Sampson's weekly mail-bag)

I don't know whether Pete just got tired of trying to address the same questions.

Or whether he thought to himself, "Shit. I have no clue what's going on with this team so far. Screw it."

But there didn't appear to be a Mailbag this week,

There did, however, happen to be a Notre Dame-related question to one of Pete's colleagues at The Athletic, Stewart Mandel.  So consider this week both a guest appearance and possibly, someone with perspective outside the ND bubble.

What is the biggest issue that you see with Notre Dame? Tommy Rees yelling in the first quarter wasn’t a good look. Is a change in OC the answer? — Moneer H.

I see two big issues. One, this was the first time since 2017 Notre Dame entered a season with no quarterback who had previous starting experience. Now it’s already lost the next guy up, Tyler Buchner, and Drew Pyne has a ways to go.

But even when past Irish QBs were struggling, they could still usually rely on a strong running game. That slid in the wrong direction last season, dropping from 29th to 72nd in yards per carry, and it’s gotten even worse this year, with Notre Dame currently 110th (3.3 YPC). An offensive line that was so dominant for so many years with guys like Quenton Nelson, Mike McGlinchey and Liam Eichenberg just isn’t there yet.

As for Rees — I get that he’s a former Irish QB and that he gave a jilted fan base something to feel good about when he opted not to follow Brian Kelly to LSU last year. But I’ve never understood the reverence for him as an offensive coordinator. His first two offenses ranked 34th and 41st nationally in yards per play. Not bad, but not exactly offensive savant material. Part of the reason he stayed was he’d have more autonomy under Marcus Freeman, a defensive coach, than he had under Kelly, an offensive coach. But the past few weeks make you wonder whether a 30-year-old OC working for a 36-year-old head coach may not have been the world’s greatest idea.

And yet, I would strongly encourage Irish fans not to go into full-blown panic mode yet. (I realize it may be too late.) No, it does not appear 2022 is going to be the kind of season you’ve been enjoying lately, but that’s not entirely unexpected when pivoting from the winningest head coach in school history to a young, first-time head coach who lost his starting quarterback in Week 2. This is still the same guy who is currently assembling the school’s highest-ranked recruiting class in recent history. He may need a little time, though, to gain experience and truly put his stamp on the program.

Which may or may not require making some staff changes after Year 1.

Source:  The Athletic

September 21, 20212

Well I just don't know what to do

And I hate this confusion.

I got all these questions 

And nowhere to lose them. 

Cocktail of the Week

You know what I noticed after two tailgaters?  The beverage of choice has shifted, like the subtle movement of the earth's tectonic plates... perhaps irrevocably... from Bloody Mary's to Paloma's.

Thank you, Jay.

And if any book / cocktail combination had parallels involving tequila and non-performance, it'd be the Hemingway-based cocktail below.

The Tequila Sun Also Rises

The Sun Also Rises  (1926)

By Ernest Hemingway

Picture yourself in post-World War I Paris, but don't get too comfy; why sit back in the city of lights when you could be running from the bulls in nearby Spain?

That's not all our tragic leading man Jake is running from, however.  In The Sun Also Rises, an unnamed war injury leaves our hero unable to perform in the bedroom, despite his having the hots for a volatile and newly single British babe. 

The allegorical novel put Hemingway on the map as a major voice of Americana. Our Spanish-themed twist on a tequila sunrise will have you going from hola to olé in two shakes.

1 1/2 oz. tequila

4 oz.  orange juice     

             
1/2 oz. grenadine

1 oz. Rioja wine

Pour the tequila, orange juice and grenadine into a Collins glass over ice.  

Slowly pour the Rioja on top to float, and saddle up for a no-bull beverage.

Source:  Tequila Mockingbird

Cocktails with a Literary  Twist

by Tim Federle

2022 Schedule

September

 3                     @Ohio St.                 L

10                    Marshall                   L

15                    LINIPALOOZA XII

17                    Cal (Berkely)            W

24                   @UNC

October

 1                     OPEN

 8                    @BYU (Las Vegas) 

15                    Stanford            

22                   UNLV            

29                   @Syracuse

November

5                     Clemson  

12                  @Navy                     

19                  Boston College  

26                  @USC 

  

Wager

Well, Team 10, not exactly a ringing endorsement that you're going to see this season all the way through to Wager victory. 

Or frankly, even see it through to October.

But Hope springs eternal.

Wins	Quote	Domer
12	"Never in the field of human conflict was so much owed by so many to so few..."	Brian M., John P., JP, Blayney
11	"Success is not final, failure is not fatal, it is the courage to continue that counts..."	Lini, Theo, Sloane, Dave M., Peter
10	"Diplomacy is the art of telling people to go to hell in such a way that they ask for directions..."	Bob J., Gutsch,  Jerry P., Bill, Bob S., Mike C., Pat B., Jim B., Tim S.,  Feif, Mike G., Phillip S., George, Mike B.,  Shea
9	"Never, never give in..."	Jerrence, Raz, Mark, Bryan, Matt, Jerry C., Daryl, Graham, John,  Jim T., Alex, Randy, Pat C., Gerard W.
8	"History is written by the victors..."	Albert, Garrett R., Brian W.
7	"When you get a thing the way you want it, leave it alone..."
6	"The best argument against democracy is a 5-minute conversation with the average voter..."
5	"If I were married to you, Mr. Churchill, I'd put poison in your coffee. If we were married, I'd drink it..."
4	"He has all of the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire..."
3	"If you're going through hell, keep going..."

Schadenfreude of the Week

October can't come fast enough - will someone please play a meaningful opponent?  

Thankfully, there's that 2nd tier of the top 20 to come to our rescue.

1)  Michigan State.  Ranked #11 going into the game and loses by 11 to Washington - and needing a big 4th quarter to make it appear even that close.  

2)  BYU.  Ranked #12 going into the game and gets crushed by Oregon.   Maybe the PAC12 isn't as bad as we thought.  

Nah...

3)  Miami.  Ranked #13 - seeing a trend yet? - going into a classic 'root for a tie with lots of injuries' vs. Texas A&M, the Canes went down in an entire game seemingly as dull as ND's 1st half.  

And good thing you abandoned that insipid Turnover Chain gimmick, especially since you had none. 

4) Auburn.  Watch this (love the SEC Shorts guys) if only for the Gary Danielson diss. 

Terry's Tools

One of the fun and interesting aspects of this section is the wide variety of the sub-segments.

Mostly, we revel in the stupid ones, the Darwin Award finalists that make you wonder how they ever made it to their teens.

This week's recognition takes a darker turn, the Criminal Tool.  And a sad one for this Packer fan, given the very credible argument one can make that he virtually saved a football franchise.

But, there you go. 

1) Brett Favre..  You know, speaking on behalf of Packer Nation, we were willing to look the other way (both literally and figuratively) over the dick pics controversy during your J-E-T-S time.  You are, after all, from Mississippi - perhaps that's a familiar form of courtship down there.

But embezzling big money - $6M allegedly - from the state's welfare system in arguably the poorest nation in the country... in order to build a freaking volleyball arena that your daughter might play in?!  That's a new low, like, rock bottom low. Which is saying something for you. 

2) Cleveland Browns fans.  The sad reality is that I doubt they're really not any different than any other fan base.   

Still. 

They are the ones who happen to be saddled with Deshaun Watson as their $230M - fully guaranteed! - QB and this is just not a good look (defending his right to coerce sexual favors) to be presenting the world. 

3)  Boston Celtics.   Juxtapose Watson's status with the punishment they just gave to their coach, Ime Udoka:  a full year suspension for having an affair with a co-worker, a seemingly consensual relationship.

Seems a little excessive.  And difficult to reconcile against Watson's punishment (not even a full year).  

And make no mistake: talent matters, especially in sports.  This coach, in his first year, took the team to the NBA finals.  In other words, they would've fired his ass if he wasn't good.

4) Utah.  Giving Wisconsin a run for their money as the preeminent (and profoundly underrated) bastion to the dangerously weird.  

Sure, their scary fundamentalist Mormons and zealous militias get all the headlines (and book deals) but, apparently, we haven't given the state its due for their football-mad populace.   

Go Utes!

Final Thought

20+ years ago, Roger Federer got me to watch tennis, at least Major championship tennis.  

End of an era today. And in a fittingly cool way.

66 Majors  in this picture. Yowzer.

Week 2: We AREN'T Marshall!

I'm through with buzz...'... 

Dateline:  Notre Dame, IN

Jerrence's Saturday, a capsule summary:

Tailgate

• Bloody Mary
• Paloma

Game

• Beer 
• Beer
• Beer 
• Beer

And what did he have to show for it?  An embarrassing loss and despite his best efforts, jarring sobriety.

Sure the weather was grand, the tailgate was impressively attended, great food, drink and conversation... - Hey ND football, start holding up your end of the bargain - you're supposed to be a buzz enhancer, not a buzz kill.

Quote of the Week

"When you gaze long enough into the abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you."        

        

Frederich Nietzsche 

And if by 'abyss', Fred meant a '12 oz. IPA'... yes, Jerrence did a lot of staring on Saturday afternoon.  By the mid-4th quarter, that beer wasn't just gazing at him, it was mocking him.  

Word of the Week

Used in a sentence paragraph:  Young Jerrence woke up on Sunday, seemingly no worse for wear yet still baffled by the somnambulant effort put forth by the collecrtive Notre Dame team.  

The energy level, or lack thereof, from each group, screamed, "I would prefer not", as in prefer not to block, tackle, catch... maybe some other, more convenient time for the Irish.  Reminding Jerrence of an equally desultory experience back in the '90s when he and Defarge drove to a small town in Brittany, ostensibly to visit an interesting small museum while we were in the area.  Upon arrival, we were greeted by a man sitting at a card table with a stack of papers by his side.

"We're here for the tour."

"Zee tour? Oh, I don't theenk so.  I have all zees papers to get through.  I would prefer tomorrow."

"Oh you would prefer tomorrow? We're not here tomorrow but okay, motherf-----"

The French.  

Jerrence thought, perhaps that's how he should describe the Marshall game to those who hadn't witnessed it:  it was like the Thundering Herd played the French. 

Game 2:  Thoughts

What else should I say?

All apologies.... 

This is the place in the blog where I remind everyone I really don't know f*ck all about football - remember, English major / wussie HS placekicker here - and what little I thought I knew, I've now thrown in the metaphorical trash.

So take the following few comments accordingly:

1) Transfer portal.  For all the ignominy about losing to Marshall, fun fact:  they took in 39 transfers this past year.  So perhaps they weren't quite as devoid of talent as one might've thought.

2) Fluke or No fluke?     No fluke. Marshall was clearly the better team, all day long. Chalk that game up to things you can't unsee.

3)  Are you a betting man?   With this offense?  Always bet the 'under.'

4)  ND vs. Cal.  If you needed a reason to go to this week's game, let it be this*:

* This assumes you've seen the Netflix two episode "Untold" documentary on Manti.  If not, run don't walk to watch. Equal parts heartbreaking and inspiring.  And if ever someone knows something about resilience - and deserves to be feted for it - it's him.

Buddy's Buddy

Sorry, not this week.

Buddy deserves better.  A lot better. (Don't we all.)

Sure, Michael Mayer is balling but his time will come for a more fitting game.  I hope.

So, no nominee this week.  Wait.  There might be one person.  

Mystery tailgate host.  Whomever brought the panini's from Martin's to the tailgate...  those were pretty fabulous.  Who knew they'd be practically the highlight of the day.

RE-PETE (A shameless, illegal lift of Pete Sampson's weekly mail-bag)

I'm guessing this was a week that Mr. Sampson was NOT in a tearing rush to retrieve his mail. 

Talk about 'don't shoot the messenger.'

In this week of wild over-reaction (see Tools below), three questions seem to dominate ND fandom's minds, in no particular order:

1) How (soon) does this get fixed?

2) Is it already Steve Angeli time?

3) Is Freeman still the right guy for the job?

Questions 2 and 3 still feel very premature (certainly #3 more than #2) so let's dwell on the first for now... 

I’m coming in for the Stanford game on Oct. 15. That gives Freeman about a month to fix everything (more realistically, for the line to jell and Rees to adjust the playbook). Can you give me a best-case scenario, a realistic scenario and a “Well, at least you’ll have your dad’s gumbo to look forward to” scenario as to what I’ll see in that game? — Catherine B.

Is this the Catherine B., recently featured in our humble publication?

Aside from the obvious best-case scenario, i.e. you’re watching Notre Dame win its fourth straight game that night, it’s realistic for both lines of scrimmage to take major steps forward between now and then.

As much as we (myself included) got out over our skis about Harry Hiestand working with the line, another month of practice and game tape will either prove Hiestand still can develop college linemen or Notre Dame will be in major trouble. And as poorly as the line has been, giving it more than one game with this starting lineup seems reasonable. Maybe there’s not a dominant line here. But there needs to at least be a good one, which would be an improvement from its current state of affairs.

The defensive line, in a lot of ways, is the most confounding position group on the team. There should have been no learning curve from Mike Elston to Al Washington, who inherited a position both old and talented. This line should have been able to get pressure by rushing four. Instead, the Irish have four sacks through two games. Two came when Notre Dame rushed six. One came when Notre Dame rushed five. That’s not good enough.

As Al Golden pointed out Tuesday night, it’s not just the failure to get sacks from the defensive line that hurts. It’s been the lack of havoc that pressure can force, whether that’s a rushed throw, a tipped pass or a strip sack. There are a lot of reasons why the Irish haven’t forced a turnover. But the biggest may be the lack of production from a starting lineup that could include three draft picks.

If both lines aren’t right by Stanford, it’s hard to believe Notre Dame will be by USC

Source:  The Athletic

September 14, 20212

Dazed and confused for so long it's not true... 

Cocktail of the Week

Nothing says 'brutal!" like last Saturday's game.

And who knows 'brutal'?  Jake LaMotta does.

And who knows how to depict 'brutal'?  Martin Scorsese does.

Although one would probably imagine that even Scorsese would've looked at the game film and said that script is just too too ugly, too painful, even by his standards.

We hear ya, Marty. 

Raging Red Bull

Raging Bull  (1980)

Directed by Martin Scorsese

Dream team Robert DeNiro and Martin Scorsese put their heads together after the actor read bruiser Jake LaMotta's autobiography and thought it be a perfect fit for his Taxi Driver director.

No fan of boxing, Scorsese initially balked, but several years (and writers) later, the duo got back into the ring for what would become one of the '80s most talked-about films. 

Told in flashback after an opening sequence that had DeNiro gaining a hefty 60 lbs., Raging Bull is an unflinching look at how a man's greatest strength at work can also be his greatest weakness at home. 

Our own heart-pounding, Italian-American thirst quencher will have you going one more round.

1 oz. Campari
1 oz.  sweet vermouth                  
1 oz. gin

1/2 oz. Red Bull

Place all of the ingredients in a mixing glass with ice and stir well.  Strain into a rocks glass over fresh ice and prepare to see stars.

Source:  Gone With The Gin

Cocktails with a Hollywood  Twist

by Tim Federle

2022 Schedule

September

 3                     @Ohio St.                 L

10                    Marshall                   L

15                    LINIPALOOZA XII

17                    Cal (Berkely)        

24                   @UNC

October

 1                     OPEN

 8                    @BYU (Las Vegas) 

15                    Stanford            

22                   UNLV            

29                   @Syracuse

November

5                     Clemson  

12                  @Navy                     

19                  Boston College  

26                  @USC 

  

Wager

Ouch. 

Looking at the wager and the balance of the season in front of us, it's probably safe to say it's good to be Albert.

And how many times have I said that in my life?!  

Honestly, not a whole lot. 

But in this context - and I'm sure he takes no joy in being at the (now) likely bottom end of this pool's continuum - it certainly seems apropos.   In fact, Al's guess - and it should be pointed out, also B. Ward's and Garrett Rasmus's - might actually be, dare I say it, optimistic. 

                                                                             Something else I've rarely uttered.                                 

Wins	Quote	Domer
12	"Never in the field of human conflict was so much owed by so many to so few..."	Brian M., John P., JP, Blayney
11	"Success is not final, failure is not fatal, it is the courage to continue that counts..."	Lini, Theo, Sloane, Dave M., Peter
10	"Diplomacy is the art of telling people to go to hell in such a way that they ask for directions..."	Bob J., Gutsch,  Jerry P., Bill, Bob S., Mike C., Pat B., Jim B., Tim S.,  Feif, Mike G., Phillip S., George, Mike B.,  Shea
9	"Never, never give in..."	Jerrence, Raz, Mark, Bryan, Matt, Jerry C., Daryl, Graham, John,  Jim T., Alex, Randy, Pat C., Gerard W.
8	"History is written by the victors..."	Albert, Garrett R., Brian W.
7	"When you get a thing the way you want it, leave it alone..."
6	"The best argument against democracy is a 5-minute conversation with the average voter..."
5	"If I were married to you, Mr. Churchill, I'd put poison in your coffee. If we were married, I'd drink it..."
4	"He has all of the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire..."
3	"If you're going through hell, keep going..."

Schadenfreude of the Week

File this under 'insult after injury' - not only did we lose in the most depressing fashion but almost no one else of any consequence lost (and why should they, they all defeated their supposed patsies).

And sorry, Texas, but almost beating Alabama doesn't count - or help me populate this section. 

Unfortunately, Schadenfreudism has an immutable binary, "you either lost or you didn't" criteria about it.  So - slim pickin's this week.

1) Texas A&M.   Does misery really love company?   

Not as much as one would like to think. 

But given the school's investment in both Jimbo and NIL bribes - plus the fact that ND's primary wavering 5-star 2023 commitment was at the A&M game - it's hard not to take some consolation from the Aggies sh*tting the bed.

SEC SHORTS.  Sometime's you have to laugh at yourself - these guys are good at this - and honestly they let ND off pretty easy. Check it out here. 

Terry's Tools

It shouldn't be a surprise that in a week where the 'fewer words, the better' is the operating principle, of course there'd be more tools to celebrate than I'd know what to do with. 

If idiocy was a renewable energy resource - there's no question its sustainable - at least we'd have that going for us.  But we don't. 

Oh well. Dare to dream. 

1) Notre Dame Message Boards..  If one spends even a scintilla of time on social media or websites - on any topic, actually - you knew to avoid going near anything Notre Dame-related this week.   I, however, am not that smart.

Saying that, the magnitude of over-reaction to admittedly the worst loss in about a decade was still striking.  Freeman's a terrible hire / Hiestand's never really been a good coach / Buchner is overrated / Kelly never would've lost that game / Swarbrick should've let Rees go to LSU / "I don't see 6 wins on the schedule... 

Geez.  Some / all of that may end up being true.  But could we please, at least, let this play out a little longer (like an entire season)?

2) MLB.    Could not have said it better.  (Kudos for the pitch clock, however, that is necessary.)

3)  USC.  Now that it seems clear you're going to romp through the weakest of  Power 5 conferences, it also appears you've now figured out how to surgically weaponize NIL - going blatantly after the families. As if the SoCal talent pool, weather, babes and Hollywood cachet wasn't enough.

I am both depressed and envious.

4)  Jay Cutler.  There is something perversely impressive about seeing someone so single-mindedly committed - and successful - to being a douche, 24 / 7. 

Okay, this is also pretty funny. 

But I'm still not selling the team...

5) Robert Sarver.  Bad behavior by sports owners is nothing new - they are our generation's robber barons who seem to do whatever the f*ck they want with impunity.  

Still, even by professional sports league standards, it would seem rare that one gets such a long run of misogyny, racism and general assholery as Mr. Sarver, the owner of the NBA's Phoenix Suns, got away with - 18 years!  

And what's the consequence?  $10M fine (petty cash) and a year away from the team / facilities ("hello, Cabo!").   

Justice is served!

6)  Disney.   More blatant, tone deaf misappropriation - will it never end?

Final Thought

Impossible to understate how important it is to win against Cal this week.