Week 8 (2012): Breaking Bad (And by 'Bad' I Mean Good)

"There is a fifth dimension beyond that which is known to man. It is a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity. It is the middle ground between light and shadow, between science and superstition, and it lies between the pit of man's fears and the summit of his knowledge. This is the dimension of imagination. It's an area which we call the 'A' Lot... " 

WERE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?

"Is This Not Why You Watched?!..."

I was. Wildly.  At least for the final 8:00...  but like the attendees at the Colosseum, I'm mindful that one watches sporting events for a variety different reasons, not the least of which being to witness a mauling.

And the run up to Saturday evening's game had me unsure as to whether we were to be Maximus or lion food. Sooner Nation's bat-shit-crazy attitude toward Northerners, Catholics and ND Losses That Occurred During The John Steinbeck Trashed Us Era left me unsettled.  

Those of you who went to the game were braver folks than I.

Every pundit with a media credential had us getting pounded. "Good defense but never be able to keep up with Oklahoma's hitting-on-all-cylinders offense..." Truth be told, last year's USC game didn't exactly inspire confidence that our coaching staff was up to the task of getting these guys prepared for a this-time-we-mean-it really big game. 

But hey, I guess that's why they play the game.

Song of the Week

Given the locale and the opponent, it's irresistible drawing on the Old West gunslinger 'Showdown At The OK Corral' metaphor. Just wasn't too confident we'd be the one left standing at the end of the duel. Score one for the guy(s) in the White (or gold) hat!  And who better to bring that imagery to life than Arizona's favorite son, Alice Cooper?  At least he's my favorite son of Arizona.  And I think my mother's as well, due to their shared Christian values, love of desert golf and appreciation for the opportunistic use of fake guillotines in a stage show... 

“Step into the street by sundown,

Step into your last goodbye.

You're a target just by living,

Twenty dollars will make you die…

My shots are clean and my shots are final.

My shots are deadly and when it's done

You're as stiff as my smoking barrel.

You're as dead as a desert night.

You're a notch and I'm a legend…”

Word of the Week

CHURLISH  adjective \ˈchər-lish\

1  of, resembling, or characteristic of a churl : vulgar

2  marked by a lack of civility or graciousness : surly

3  difficult to work with or deal with : intractable <churlish soil>

— churl·ish·ly adverb

— churl·ish·ness noun

First Known Use of CHURLISH

• before 12th century

Synonyms: boorish, clownish, classless, cloddish, loutish, uncouth

Rhymes with CHURLISH:  girlish

Used in a sentence...  Given the Sooner fan base's churlish behavior in the week preceding the contest, their game day hospitality was a pleasant surprise to the ND fans who traveled to Norman. 

Random Observations Of The Game

1st Quarter - Weathering The Storm

-   Oklahoma comes out no huddle and really up tempo. Just like their candy-striped crowd.
-  Okie center snaps to... no one!  Sweet!  I'll take it!
-  ND's turn.  3 and out. So much for 'put 'em immediately on their heels' play calling...
-  Herbie, The Voice of Reason as he points out our 'bend but don't break' defense.
-  Cierre!  62 yds!  Was he even touched?!  (Suck on that, Brent.)
-  Even when Brent is complementary to ND, he is phenomenally irritating. 

7-3, Notre Dame.

2nd Quarter

-   ND blitz!  Te'o?  Te' ouch!
-  Herbie again:  "they could see that Te'o was coming.  Clearly the message was not delivered..."
-  Early word-o-week nominee: gesticulate.  (Anyone notice how Oklahoma's players seem to be always showing an over-the-top reaction on every single play...)
-  Bob Stoops, whining early and often.
-  Daniels WIDE OPEN and Everett doesn't. even. see. him.  Really hope we're not going to be talking about that miss later.
-  10-3, Notre Dame.  6:00 left and we're looking pretty steady.
-  ND gives up 1st rushing TD.  Or not.  10-6, ND.
-  Brent:  "Bob Stoops is not very happy."  Thank you, Columbo. 

3rd Quarter

      -    1st drive, all Everett.
      -  Kyle, Kyle, Kyle... what are we gonna do with you?
      -  Uh oh, Brent's off his meds and quoting obscure Elton John. Herbie, DO NOT be an enabler...
      -  1st down from our own 2 yd. line.  Stanford!  Deja vu!   And not the good kind.
      -  Everett running and passing, passing and running... and just getting crunched. 
      -  Tommy in...  And passing to... who else?  Tyler!  
      -  10-6, Notre Dame.  3rd Quarter Time of Possession advantage, 11:30 to 3:30.  
          That's gotta make the defense happy.

4th Quarter

- Oklahoma's secondary is pretty darn good.  And #1, Jefferson, is a beast.
- 14:00 left and Kyle makes it interesting.  Perhaps more so than is necessary.  13-6, Notre Dame.
- 10:40, Red Zone for the Sooners and their specialty QB, Lurch, is in the game.
-  4th and 2.  Pass. Awfully tough to stop.
 -  Lurch scores. C'est la vie.  13-13.  Lisa is removed from the viewing area due to her bad mojo. 
-  2nd and 2... play action!  Golson to Chris Brown, 50 yds!  The gods are pleased w my sacrifice!
-  5:00 and Golson scores!  20-13, ND.

Owww.

-  They're doing it again.  Brent & Herbie. Talking like the game is over. 

- Te'o INT!  Kyle bi-sects the goal posts!

-  Q.  Is it possible that we're watching this on some kind of tape delay so the announcers look more prescient than they really are?

-  More phantom Oklahoma snapping! 

-  And I need more grog to slake my victory-starved thirst! "Innkeeper, innkeeper - wine and fresh horses!"

-  And Big Game Bob looks impassively on. 
-  Ken Stills, Power Tool.
- And Brent's final play call:  "Landry Jones is in trouble."  As usual, he's a day late and a dollar short.

-  30-13, Notre Dame.  Signature Win. 

Summary Thoughts

Trying not to repeat myself from past observations... 

1. Who among you are not tired of ND always giving up the cheap TD at the end of big games to make the game look closer than it really was?  So it was finally nice to get a late, meaningless TD so history records a bigger margin than was really the case for the first 52:00.
2. Kelly is smarter than I've given him credit. To be blunt. I also wonder if he's a chess player as Saturday night - and maybe the season - now looks like a grand exercise in patiently setting up opponents in order to do other 'winning' things later.  With that defense, he can get away with it.  Let's hope the 'O' isn't a mirage.
3. The coordinators are not getting enough credit.  And I'm okay with that. I'm beginning to worry about losing Diaco sooner than we all expected. Please stay a couple more years, Bob. Wait for the good HC job, not the first one.
4. And this includes Longo.  4th Quarter conditioning has been remarkable.  Most ND teams we've watched in the past 10+ years crawl to the end of the game, hoping to hang on.  This team gets stronger, better.
5. Tommy is the best #2 guy in the country.  But, barring injury, he should never start again.
6. TJ Jones, unsung hero.
7. Manti llikely won't win the Heisman but he's definitely punched his ticket to NYC.  Where he'll rescue a terrified kitten from a tree, be canonized in a fast track ceremony and receive a global humanitarian award . 
8. Just think if we had a viable punt return.
9. I don't expect a letdown this week - that was the BYU game.  But I'm not sure anyone should expect we turn into an offensive juggernaut either.
10. We're not the best team in the country - 'Bama just seems on a different level - but this team really can compete with virtually anyone else.

If This Week's Game Were A Movie Poster, It'd Be... Risky Business. 

"There's A Time For Playing It Safe...""

This game was not going to be won without some offense and given the vanilla nature of the offensive game plans to-date, one couldn't blame the media world for being overwhelmingly pessimistic toward ND chances.  But coach Kelly is a sly one. And by pulling more than a few pages from the Lou Holtz playbook, increasingly kept Oklahoma's defense off balance, exploited tendencies at the most opportune times and took more than a little rsik basically put the game in his QB's hands - none more than on that 2nd and 2 after the Sooners tied the game.



Fantastic call.  And I speak for all of us when I say it's about time that play worked.

Buddy's buddy

Happy Halloween!

While already having tipped my hand as this week's recipient, it would be remiss of me not to minimally acknowledge the efforts of the line play on both sides.  

Mike Golic, Jr., if you're only ever remembered for one play, it should be your block on Cierre Wood's 62 yd. TD dash.  Bravo.

And D-line, you owned Oklahoma. Turning their offense into a one dimensional and their linemen into hapless, broken lumps of whatever that region is known for (clean coal?!)... you guys were, again, spectacular. (And Gabe Ikard is now seeing a therapist for his embarrassing - and very public - premature snapulation issues...)

But that was merely the amuse-bouche to the evening's main attraction, Everett Golson.  Frankly, Oklahoma is the caliber of opponent that other ND QB's simply don't have the skill sets to win against.  We needed you to step up in a big way, in every way (physically and mentally). And you did. Long may this continue. Buddy would be so proud...

Tool Time

"We're not monsters. We're just ahead of the curve."

Sometimes I worry that climate change, while ravaging the rest of the globe, will also dry up what has long looked like a near infinite supply of Tools to highlight.  Then I see God in my grilled cheese and I know it's gonna be all right.

Just witness this week...

 1.   Cam Newton.  Weakness of character has long been the hallmark of The Tool.  And Cam, the poster boy for the Rules-Don't-Apply-When-You're-Freakishly-Talented is case in point.  Cam's hit a little adversity for the first time in his career - they're losing and he's a primary contributor - and he's sad. So he pouts.  He folds like a house of cards because he can't do his 'look at me I'm Superman, I'm an entertainer' shtick.  Grow up. 

The famous Dr. Rasmus...

   2.  Kenny Stills.  If you saw the game, this requires no explanation. But for those who may have stepped out freshen their victory libation, let me paraphrase advice Dr. Rasmus gave to young master Stills:  

     "If you're going to woof at the opposition, you might want to make sure.. 
      *  you actually scored 
      *  your score actually matters 
      *  your team is actually winning 
      *  you actually bark like a real dog, not a chihuahua or cock a poo

Words, I think we can all agree, to live by.

3. Lane Kiffin.  Where to begin?  Showcasing the dubious ethics to have a player switch jerseys for a one-play competitive advantage... in a game you win by 50?  Or is it the clueless way you blew a 20 point lead and then gave this quote, "I was surprised we kept screwing up..."   Really?  No one else was.

4.  Whomever Decided That Gunner Kiel Stayed Home So More Administrators Could Attend.  And I'm assuming the administrators we're talking about were not Jenkins, Swarbrick, Burish and / or Affleck-Graves.  A small issue perhaps but very disappointing.

Schadenfreude Winner.

Week 8 - quality over quantity:

1. Florida.  Has anyone else grown tired of the sweeping SEC love?  So Florida won a bunch of games, several far uglier than any of ours and they get praised for their athletes blah blah blah. (Funny how one never sees the word 'student' anywhere near the athlete reference but I'm off point.)  Glad you lost. Now go away.   Oh, coach Muschamp, if Brian Kelly got caught making these kinds of faces, it'd be national news...
2. Wisconsin.  Brett, it's been awhile.  Good to see you again!
3. Oklahoma.  The Civil War is over too. You guys need to learn to let go. 
4. Rutgers.  At the risk of offending any of the esteemed New Jersey constituency, your being undefeated got a little tiresome as well.
5. USC.  I know this hurts us in the BCS computer ratings and lessens the mutual 'big game' stakes of the Thanksgiving weekend game... but it's just ridiculous how much I enjoy seeing them lose. I'm talking-in-tongues ecstatic. Oh, and USC, I've got leaves in my yard smarter than your coach.

Speaking of which...

The Evolutionary Continuum*

                         I----------I-------------I----------------I--------I-------------------------I

                      Lane      Swiss     Amoeba          Dillon   Peking                  Te’o - Diggins

                      Kiffin      Army                               Man     Man                       offspring 

                                    Knife

*one man's hypothesis.

The Gospel According To The Coop

It's about this time each year that my gift for Notre Dame-related divination reveals itself through song.  Both blessing and curse, I come to 'see' ND Prophecy through various artists and their writings.  Two years ago, Pink Floyd, last year the Stones. And this year the estimable Mr. Cooper.  These words are simply too clear not to be taken seriously:

Song	Lyric	Prophecy foretelling…
18	Don´t always know what I´m talkin´ about Feels like I´m livin´ in the middle of doubt Cause I´m eighteen I get confused every day	The Recruitment of  5-star head cases
School's Out	Well we got no class And we got no principles And we got no innocence We can't even think of a word that rhymes	SEC Target Athlete Profile
Hello, Hooray	Ready as this audience that's coming here to dream. Loving every second, ev'ry moment, ev'ry scream. I've been waiting so long to sing my song. And I've been waiting so long for this thing to come. Yeah - I've been thinking so long I was the only one.	Everett Golson's  "Oklahoma moment"
No More Mr. Nice Guy	I used to be such a sweet, sweet thing 'Til they got a hold of me. I opened doors for little old ladies, I helped the blind to see. I got no friends 'cause they read the papers. They can't be seen with me and I'm gettin' real shot down And I'm feeling mean.	Philosophy Change  With The ND defense
Elected	I'm your top prime cut of meat, I'm your choice, I wanna be elected. I'm your Yankee doodle dandy in a gold Rolls Royce, I wanna be elected. Kids want a savior, don't need a fake, I wanna be elected...	The Manti Te'o Heisman coronation
Be My Lover	She asked me why the singer's name was Alice. I said, listen baby - you really wouldn't understand...	The Advent of Creative Naming In The   Athletic / Entertainment Industry
Ballad of Dwight Fry	See my lonely life unfold, I see it everyday See my lonely mind explode when I've gone insane I wanna get out of here I wanna, I wanna get out of here I gotta get out of here	Swarbrick's Big East  Exit Strategy Epiphany

2012 Schedule.

September	October	November
1    @Navy (Dublin)            W 8    PURDUE                       W 15  @MSU                          W 22  MICHIGAN                  W 29	6    MIAMI (Soldier Field)*          W 13  STANFORD                           W 20  BYU                                       W 27 @Oklahoma                            W	3      PITT 10    @BC 17   WAKE FOREST 24    @USC

*Linipalooza III

Wager 2012.

Buh-bye, Team 8.

For the first time, the idea of no one winning the pool - for all the right reasons - becomes more than just a possibility.

Wins		ND-Scorsese connection	Contestant’s prediction	Pay-out
12		Hugo Sweet, compelling mystery that shows the virtues of faith and resilience. Everyone walks away happy and pleasantly surprised.
11
10			JP, Lini, Dave	$267
9		Goodfellas Awesome film about fulfilling one’s potential and realizing your dreams… even if it is becoming a gangster.  (Q.  Does ending in Witness Protection qualify as a happy ending?)	Bryan, Ted, Ray, Tim S, Bob S	$160
8			Jay, John, Peter, Raz, Kevin M, Tim C, Mark	$115
7			Jerry C, Matt, Jerry W, Jim B, Tom, Mike C, Jim T, Mike G Garrett R	$90
6		The Departed A terrific story about two Boston Irishmen’s different destinies set from childhood. So very close to a happy ending. And yet, so far.	Terry, Jim S, Jerry P, Brian, Blair	$160
5			Kevin C, Alvin, Randy	$267
4
3		Taxi Driver Mentally unstable Viet Nam vet w. wildly unrealistic delusions of heroism.  He’s a total loser, albeit an incredibly   dangerous one. Sadly everybody knows it (incl. Rick Reilly) but him.
2
1
0

Final Thought - 

When did the Steelers change their nickname to the Killer Bees?

Or were the Coen Bros. simply filming in Pittsburgh?

Week 7 (2012): Enjoy Every Sandwich

"There is a fifth dimension beyond that which is known to man. It is a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity. It is the middle ground between light and shadow, between science and superstition, and it lies between the pit of man's fears and the summit of his knowledge. This is the dimension of imagination. It's an area which we call the 'A' Lot... " 

This is what crosses your mind when you have too much time on your hands:  

Like father, like son. 

If Manti Te'o and Skylar Diggins had a love child*, would it even be human?  More likely, super-human or supra-human.  Something Transcendental, Preternaturally Gifted and Other-Directed. A multi-cultural Force of Nature, equal parts Gandhi / Halle Berry / Jim Thorpe...

*It could happen... tragedy-based lust, selfless Save The World act (artificial insemination?)...

We shall call you Star Child.

And if the child was born in a presidential election year, could I immediately vote for him / her?  Or like the Dalia Lama, would he / she be simply - and swiftly - elected by spontaneous national acclimation?

I'm a super freak, super freak....

Star Child would be no magniloquent buffoon, cut from cheap polyester 

Honey Boo Boo cloth but rather a World Citizen, wise and just beyond his / her years.  Even Iran would like him / her.

The reason I bring it up is that each of them made the media rounds in a big way this week.  And they did not disappoint in making the University very proud (and the rest of us totally depressed at our comparative insignificance).

Have a listen here to Manti's 15 minute interview with sports talk show host (and resident west coast hard guy) Jim Rome, whom afterwards is reduced to a near speechless Chief Acolyte of Te'o. Pretty remarkable.

Where do I sign?

And I'm pretty sure Steven Levitt's next Freakonomics edition is going to trace Notre Dame's future precipitous drop in football recruiting to Skylar's graduation.  

But there is actually a serious point here:  these are two really special people and to have them on campus at the same time... wow.  Rare.  Enjoy it.  Appreciate it.

While we're at it, other questions that I have recently pondered...

See all those leafy things?
You're gonna get on that ladder...

1.  Could zombies be domesticated?
And if so, could they do my gutters?
It's not as if one ever sees them moving off terra firma.
And we've got a ton of leaves on our property.  

"Yum - I'll have yours!  I love it!"

2.  Naughty sounding foods - bangers & mash, toad in the hole, kumquats, sticky buns and (everyone's favorite) spotted dick - are they a sin to eat?

You should see the other guy... 

3.  How can the head butt ever be a viable tactic in a fight?

But I digress.



It was an interesting week... with #3 in a progression of high profile (and highly alliterative) opponents:

"Can I buy you a ginger ale, sailor..."

 v  Catholics vs. Convicts

 v  Catholics vs. Conifers

 v  Catholics vs. Cougars

But not just any cougars.  
Mormon cougars.  

This game could be trickier than we think.

Song of the Week

Holy War.  Like it or not, this game had larger ramifications - two football programs carrying the banner for their respective religious organizations entrenched in a doctrinal battle over key tenets driving the very foundation of life in the 21st century...

• Caffeine-based hydration
• Interesting, comfortable underwear
• The right to have only one wife be the Merciless God of Man's Universe 

In the end the game didn't hinge on exactly Divine Intervention - the better team inevitably won - but it did seem like God was messing with us for awhile... testing our resolve, as it were, until He touched Theo and said, "Lead us, Little Man..."

And it gave me the excuse to pull out this old but awesome Matthew Sweet song.  Hope you like it.

Hmmm now does He love us?

I look around and all I see is destruction.

We're all counting on His Divine intervention.

When He comes, the sun shines…

Word of the Week

TURGID  adjective \ˈtər-jəd\

1  being in a state of distension : swollen, tumid <turgid limbs>; especially : exhibiting turgor

2  excessively embellished in style or language : bombastic, pompous

— tur·gid·i·ty  noun

— tur·gid·ly  adverb

— tur·gid·ness noun

Origin

• Latin turgidus, from turgēre to be swollen
• First Known Use: 1620

 Used in a sentence...  Brian's turgid oration, extolling the virtues of an authentic Mormon lifestyle, left the dinner party attendees aghast.

Random Observations Of The Game

Friday night 

Dateline:  Union Pier, MI.  In honor of this week’s game and the GOP presidential nominee, the Alumni Hall reunion is sponsoring Mormon Night. Or The Amityville Horror depending on how much Brian drinks.  

"Something Wicked This Way Comes"	"You know, Barb, back home I'm known as the white Alan Page..."
"You're sure this how the Mormons do it?"	"First of all, John, it's the Vagina Monologues, not Dialogues. And it's a feminist play, not a documentary on the Thai sex trade..."

I jest.  Awesome time w the Alumni Hall gang – food, drink, conversation could not have been better.

Pre-Game

What year is it exactly?!

En route to the Joyce Lot tailgater, we do a quick fly-by the ‘A’ Lot gang only to find... there is no ‘A’ Lot gang. Nothing. Niente. Zippidity-Doo-Dah.  How could that be?! Postural hypotension immediately sets in – that head rush or dizzying effect one sometimes gets when standing up too quickly or listening to Judge Lohn argue legal nuance for too long.  I steady myself.  Clearly there’s been a rift in the Time-Space Continuum as I find myself standing next to Spike, my freshman year roommate... the Shakepeare-quoting civil engineering major who almost got me kicked out of school in my first month for attempting to the climb the Dome...  he was awesome!

The Ceremonial Passing of the Car Keys...

Focus.  Shaking off intense feelings of disorientation, off we go, only to have Ghost Of Christmas Past #2 appear (what was in that wine last night...)  

Louis Knoble IIIXXX.  Yikes. 

(If Chris Coraggio shows up, I am checking myself into the nearest clinic.) 

He doesn’t. 

Thereafter, much merriment ensues.

Game Time and off to The Morris Inn tent.  No Ungie this time but we do have Barb.  A trade up?  Almost assuredly.

1st Quarter

-   Everett still concussed, Tommy starting.  Okay, all you ‘what would happen if Rees played more’ advocates, be careful what you wish for…

-   Tommy-to-Tyler!  Score one for alliteration! And Mayock talks about pre-snap recognition.

-   11:52 and Mike Golic, Jr. gets his first False Start. Right on time.

-   Later that drive and Tommy “I only have eyes for you” Rees almost gets his 1^st INT when he forces the ball into Eifert.  As we sniff the red zone.  Also right on time.

-   Yet another opponent effectively using the screen pass. Maybe there’s something to that play…

-   INT sails right through Dan Fox’s hands.  Halfway through the 1^st quarter and there’s that eerie feeling this is gonna be one of those ‘woulda, coulda, shoulda’ games…

-   Te’o’s dad had not missed many meals.  And whoever got him seats on the end of the row knew what they were doing…

-   Tyler would look really good in a Packer uniform next year…

-   Our defense is relentless.

2nd Quarter

-   Good news:  Troy Niklas wants to hit someone this game. Bad news:  Just not until well after the whistle.  I guess that’s a start.

-   Tommy “he gets us into our offense so much better” just burns a TO for not getting us into our offense.

-   Danny Spond just keeps getting better and better.

-   Matthias Farley with Dumbass Penalty #2.  Is it me or does this team just not look 100% focused?

-   Davaris, your face mask was almost impaled with that pass.

-   Mayock says. “No TD for BYU.”  The replay official begs to differ. Yet another sign this is not looking like our day.

-   A Hendrix sighting – woo hoo!  Then… poof!  Gone.

-   Boy, does Theo Riddick run hard.

-   Brindza misses another FG, this one a glorified PAT.  I am NOT liking how this is going…

 
Halftime

October's a pretty special month for a lot of reasons, not the least of which is one gets to wear pick without fear of sexist reprisal.

Did you know that ND has a commemorative tree for Cancer Awareness, planted (fortuitously) behind the Morris Inn?

Pretty cool.

3rd Quarter

      -    ND dodges a bullet involving what looked like a clear off-sides on a BYU punt, thus adding to the list of rules I don’t actually understand.

-   We’re #114!  Our PR is literally no better than last year. At least we don't fair catch every one.

-   Tommy rolls right.  He takes off!  He’s running. And running. And running.  For no gain.

-  The Stadium noise is not unlike a church.

-   Riley Nelson is… not good.

-   Theo!  Legs that literally never stop churning.

-   1^st and goal from the 7.  Three running plays into the heart of the defense.  That tells you all you need to know about Kelly’s risk tolerance w Tommy in the red zone.

4th Quarter

-   I’m starting to think there’s something to that whole “conditioning as competitive advantage” thing, particularly along the lines.

-   Kapron L-M has had an awesome day.  How nice would it be if he kept that up for ≈3 more months.

-   The Stadium finally wakes up!

-   BYU’s QB is irritatingly mobile.

-   Eek!  BYU receiver wide open – and gets missed by a mile.

-   Play of The Game?  Sack of BYU on 1^st down, out of FG range and one of my favorite whipping boys (Carlo!) a big contributor!

-   Interesting in that final, time-consuming drive of the game, Cierre was almost exclusively The Guy.

-   Let the record show:  after that 1^st series of the game, Mike Golic Jr.’s name hasn’t been mentioned.  

Summary Thoughts

-  This game (and how it played out) shouldn't have been a big surprise to anyone. Keeping a team of 18-22 yr. old's focused for 12 weeks is nearly impossible. (Just ask Pete Carroll.) It’s why the rest of the college universe treats September like pre-season.

-   The fact that ND won - coming from behind - when they clearly weren't hitting on all cylinders is a huge testimony to the coaches.  This is exactly the type of game ND loses in the last decade.

-   Last week I thought future success was all about turnovers.  This week, I’m adding Red Zone as a predictor.  Right now, we suck, especially w Tommy. And if it doesn't get better fast, we have no chance next week.

-    We also have no chance if offensive play-calling doesn't get more creative. Which may mean taking some risks. Which would be fine if ‘Miami Everett’ shows up instead of ‘Stanford Everett’…

-   You know you have a good defense when giving up 14 points is perceived as disappointing. 

-   Regardless of the QB, a passing attack based on ‘throw it really high and hope Tyler / TJ catches it’ doesn’t seem sustainable.

-   The young DB’s finally looked like it. I actually take that as a comfort. And a reality-check. No one gets complacent. They've got things to work on and it’s now on film.  Presumably, they’ll get better.

-   We've proved we can come from behind but probably not by a lot (14+ points). We’re just not built that way.

-   Are we over-rated at #5?  Maybe. Probably.  A little. But the real question is who cares?  If they win 10+ games w their schedule, they’re BCS-bound.

Post game

Meanwhile, back at the SW Michigan ranch... 

Surf 'n turf.  More wine. More laughs.  And a small, mechanical sheep that does alcoholic pudding shots and barrel racing.  Where did that come from?!

I'm told it's The Sport of The Future.

If This Week's Game Were A Movie Poster, It'd Be... Memento 

"Some Memories Are Best Forgotten"

Let's face it - this was not a game (or a win) that anyone is going to want to spend much time reminiscing over.  We got the 'W'.   Pretty ugly.

Let's move on.  

Nothing to see here.

Buddy's buddy

Coach Kelly says Tyler Eifert, I say Theo Riddick.  End of story.  

Particularly in light of all the quiet 'why does he play so much' speculation over the past weeks, he was practically a one man wrecking crew in the 2nd half.  Even without a home run gear, the little bugger never stops fighting for the extra yard. And with our suspect O-line (yes, I'm still not buying 'em as a huge strength), that's an awesome trait to possess. Theo, consider me a big fan.

Tool Time

"We're not monsters. We're just ahead of the curve."

As we all know, tools come in all shapes and sizes, almost like a Forrest Gump box of chocolates.  Except you do know what you're gonna get:  bad behavior, low character, poor judgment and really lame excuses after the fact. And it’s a sad day (or week) when one can’t find easy pickings for tool candidates and I am loathe to go back in time to pull out nominees (I’m looking at you, Matt Holliday and KC Chief fans) but here’s a couple, proving no one can hold it on the road for even a single week:

1.   Shakeel Rashad.  UNC LB who, while he’s running onto the field,  blind sides a Duke WR as he’s lining up! Have a look here.  First of all, it’s Duke. And unless it’s Christian Laettner, Tool Hall of Fame, Class of ‘92 (in which case it’s open season), that’s about as cheap as you can get.  

2.  New York Yankees.  They were my team growing up and when it suits my purposes, still today.  But saying that after your sustained, near biblical post-season hitting collapse, the local NY Stadium boos contributed to your early exit … well that’s just weak.

3. Pat McQuaid.  President of  the UCI (Union Cycling International) declares the moral high ground, stripping Lance Armstrong of his 7 Tour de France titles, saying there's no place for him in their sport. Yet... of the 21 riders who finished behind Armstrong during those seven years, 20 of them have been caught doping.  I'd say, Pat, Lance has exactly the right place in your sport.

Schadenfreude Winner.

Week 7 - so many 'near misses - yet I can still find someone's shortcomings to celebrate.  I'm special that way.

1. Zach Mettenberger.  Can one experience schadenfreude for a person's failure?  You're darn tootin' you can!  After LSU's QB went 11-29 for 97 yds., I'm finally understanding coach Miles' vitriol toward our young Gunner.  It's not arrogance, it's envy.
2. South Carolina.  So much for national championship aspirations, Steve.  Or even SEC division titles. But you'll probably get to work on that golf game a little sooner.
3. MSU.  There may be many in this group that don't agree but if I just go on coaching esteem, D'Antonio v. Hoke, I'm always going for the latter. And I'm still bitter about that Little Giants rubbish.
4. WVU.  Good news:  one less candidate for Te'o to worry about for the Heisman. Bad news: as of now, they're predicting KSU to be our BCS bowl opponent.  Eek.

    2012 Schedule.

September	October	November
1    @Navy (Dublin)            W 8    PURDUE                       W 15  @MSU                          W 22  MICHIGAN                  W 29	6    MIAMI (Soldier Field)*          W 13  STANFORD                           W 20  BYU                                       W 27 @Oklahoma	3      PITT 10    @BC 17   WAKE FOREST 24    @USC

*Linipalooza III

Wager 2012.

Terry / Jim S / Brian / Blair / Jerry P, have a seat.  Teams 8 and 9... 'Dead Man Walking'.

The fact is, there's at most only two games ND won't be favored in from here on out.  Not that they can't stumble but the way they play defense, tough to see 'em choke against the first three November opponents.

We'll see.

Wins		ND-Scorsese connection	Contestant’s prediction	Pay-out
12		Hugo Sweet, compelling mystery that shows the virtues of faith and resilience. Everyone walks away happy and pleasantly surprised.
11
10			JP, Lini, Dave	$267
9		Goodfellas Awesome film about fulfilling one’s potential and realizing your dreams… even if it is becoming a gangster.  (Q.  Does ending in Witness Protection qualify as a happy ending?)	Bryan, Ted, Ray, Tim S, Bob S	$160
8			Jay, John, Peter, Raz, Kevin M, Tim C, Mark	$115
7			Jerry C, Matt, Jerry W, Jim B, Tom, Mike C, Jim T, Mike G Garrett R	$90
6		The Departed A terrific story about two Boston Irishmen’s different destinies set from childhood. So very close to a happy ending. And yet, so far.	Terry, Jim S, Jerry P, Brian, Blair	$160
5			Kevin C, Alvin, Randy	$267
4
3		Taxi Driver Mentally unstable Viet Nam vet w. wildly unrealistic delusions of heroism.  He’s a total loser, albeit an incredibly   dangerous one. Sadly everybody knows it (incl. Rick Reilly) but him.
2
1
0

Final Thought

Returning to the faux Holy War theme, does anything describe our defense better than these three four weapons of The Spanish Inquisition?

Fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope.

And nice blue uniforms.

(Don’t miss the ironic reference to ‘uncle Ted’…)

How could we lose?