Hello, Clarice.
.
.
.
.
Miss me?
I trust you all had a wildly
therapeutic time, far away from thinking about the psychosis that is Notre Dame
football.
Yes, I'm a bit slow on this
final, Season 2011 ending recap. I know. I take solace (and
defense) in something the über-excellent German novelist Thomas Mann once
said… that a writer is someone for whom writing is more difficult that it
is for other people. Did you know that James Joyce took to write
"Ulysses" - regarded by many as the greatest novel of the 20th century
- at a rate of 100 words a day? I know - the closest any of you
('cept Perez and Gruley) will ever get to Joyce is drinking next autumn in one
of the Dublin pubs he frequently enjoyed.
How about TS Eliot, one of the
greatest poets our country has ever produced, only wrote about 150 pages of
poetry over the course of his entire career?
At any rate, in the aftermath of
ND's latest disappointment, I struggled to find words for adequately expressing
my disconsolate state of mind. Motivation, gone. Mojo, gone. It was
the holidays, after all. And my birthday! (More on that
later.) I must get my way - it's a rule in the Corrigan
household, for godssakes. But no. The struggle continues…
So it feels appropriate to use a
child-like expression to sum up all the angst and frustration I felt - and so I
share:
Bring on 2012.
Song of the Week
I'm not sure I've nominated a
Led Zeppelin song before but if ever one captured where the program sits,
relative to 'returning to glory' it's this - "Over The Hills And Far
Away".
Many have I
loved - Many times been bitten.
Many times
I've wondered how much there is to know.
Mellow is
the man who knows what he's been missing
Many, many
men can't see the open road.
Many is a
word that only leaves you guessing
Guessing
'bout a thing you really ought to know…
The operative words, of course,
are 'bitten', 'wondered', 'guessing' and inevitably,
'ought to know'.
Pre-Game
It all started off so
innocently… so benign. Watching the game at Jerry's apartment w fellow
birthday celebrant, Feif. Giddy w excitement (Feif gave me a fine wine
and Jerry provided a bottle of Hendricks bigger than my head), optimism was in
the air. I should've known it wasn’t going to end well.
The Notre Dame
Football Experience: See Nothing Competent, Speak Nothing Competent, Hear
Nothing Competent
Observations from The Game
Taking a walk down masochistic
Memory Lane, I'll be brief. Most of you have probably, happily,
jettisoned these thoughts. If you're riding a pleasant dopamine rush, perhaps
you'll want to skip to the next section. In a relatively chronological
fashion…
 |
| "Your special teams play frightens and confuses me..." |
·
Michael Floyd
returns a punt. As it turns out, a long way. Wow. Is that even
legal?
·
Tommy throws an INT
from the 3 yd. line. That can't be easy to do. The TV analyst reports
that it's ND's 7th redzone turnover this year. And who says consistency
isn't a virtue?
·
In a year of stupid
on-field decisions, Prince Shembo steps up. He abuses the FSU QB
unnecessarily - gets called for it, correctly - and keeps an FSU drive
alive. Knucklehead or poorly coached? Can't hang that one on Diaco.
 |
| "Et tu, Michael?" |
·
Great pressure
defense - where's that been all year?
·
Jimbo Fisher coaches
like someone named Jimbo.
·
Michael Floyd drops
an almost certain TD pass.
·
Fast forward to late
Q3: another reason to dislike Tommy - his wonky throw led directly to
Floyd getting hurt - absolutely crushed in the sternum.
·
Special teams
immediately give up 77 yd. KO return. As I said, consistency…
·
Where did the blitz
go?
·
Amazing how
dramatically our secondary regressed from last year.
·
FSU's top two CB's
are now injured. Normally, that would represent 'advantage, ND'. Today,
not so much.
·
While Tommy
continually throws into double coverage and ends scoring drives, Hendrix has
the shortest hook of anyone on the planet not named Dayne.
·
Perfect year end
symmetry, "Theo Riddick back to receive the punt…"
In fact, this game was a pretty
pure capsule summary of the whole year: periods of brilliance on D,
followed by inexplicable breakdowns on special teams and soul crushing,
self-inflicted gaffes on offense.
Thankfully, the evening
deteriorated, happily, into other, more esoteric areas, like Jerry's zeal for
the following night's REO Speedwagon concert and his commitment the next
morning to his periodic CNBC talking head gig. Two topics we discovered,
ultimately not mutually exclusive as Jerry was cajoled into making an REO
reference during his report. He made three. No one likes an
overachiever, Jer.
"I'm
doing my next CNBC report as an interpretive dance. Here, the market is like an
elegant pterodactyl!"
Thanks again Jerry, Tom and
spouses, for the fun night.
"I was told there'd
be cake…"
If The Champs Bowl was a
movie poster, it’d be… “Saw II”
"Oh Yes, There Will Be Blood"
For those of you who familiar
with this franchise (and I consider myself an, ahem, aficionado) the films are
characterized by repeated pain and cringe inducing tortures - increasingly
creative in a wholly twisted sort of way - that leave you thinking "no,
no they're not going to do that… ohmygod they ARE going to do that… I can't
watch any more… I can't turn away…"
Kind of like watching Notre Dame
Football 2011 - 'torture porn' for the sports loving Domer.
So after concluding a season
with disappointingly desultory performances in every big game that mattered,
who ultimately was really surprised that the FSU game was so ugly?
So yes, there was blood. The only question is whether Kelly can
find a tourniquet this offseason.
Word of the Week
Snafu. Not so much a real word as a bonafide military-based
acronym that's been assimilated into the American vernacular and now used as a
real word.
sna·fu noun \sna-ˈfü, ˈsna-ˌfü\
·
a situation marked
by errors or confusion : muddle; also : an error causing such a situation <a
scheduling snafu>
·
Situation Normal All
Fucked Up (military)
First Known Use: circa
1941
Used in a sentence:
"Notre Dame's disappointing performance in The Champs Bowl represented yet
another snafu in their effort to return to respected status…"
Year
End… The GOLDEN BUDDY Award.
.JPG)
Defensively, there were actually a few pretty stellar
performances in that game - ones that give one guarded optimism for next year…
can Manti play at such a level every game like he flew to the ball that
night? If healthy, one could say reasonably believe so. And
Jamoris, a name we actually considered naming Shea until daddy's liquor and
mommy's hospital meds wore off, was a total revelation. Let's
hope he keeps that up next year…
But
I'm giving the nod - not only for the game but for his consistency throughout
the year - to Tyler Eifert. Game in, game out he was the
model of consistency - I can remember only one drop (a bad one, granted, in the
Stanford game on a Hendrix pass) and more often he was keeping drives alive and
making Our Man Tommy look significantly less incompetent than he actually is.
Extra
points for a) being a Hoosier and b) staying another year, the latter
symptomatic of a loyalty that Buddy would've really appreciated.
Schadenfreude of the Year.
·
LSU. After being party to perhaps the most boring #1
vs. #2 Game of the Century during the regular season, you're forced to replay
the game and you show up so small - unprepared, chaotic, uninspired,
inept… Bummer. Welcome to our world, Baton Rouge.
·
Ohio State. Ended the season 6-7 after losing the
"We Used To Be Contenders" Bowl vs. Florida. This would've been
a lot sweeter had OSU not hired Urban and gotten off pretty lightly for
Tat-gate. Conspiracy theorists would say those two occurrences are not
mutually exclusive.
·
Penn State. Being happy that PSU got kicked by Houston - is
that like kicking a man when they're already down? I think not.
State College is a creepy, inbred place run for years by a despot who thought
he was the moral compass for his cult. Could it happen anywhere?
Probably. But certainly not in this century. Good school but I hope
they cauterize the football program.
·
New England. Truth be told I had no dog in the Super Bowl
race, sadly. But given that at the time of the game, daughter Ryan and I
were benefitting from the largesse of Mr. Wills in Escondido, it was "Go
G'ints!" all the way. What I would say is this, New England:
the rest of the world gets tired of hearing about your Genius Coach and Robo-QB
With The Super Model Wife even when neither of them call particular attention
to themselves. Yes, Eli looks like the dull witted lad who still mows
your lawn even though he's 37 years old - but golly, his mother is a
really good friend of the family and it helps his self-esteem so what the hey,
why not let him make a little money - but man, when it hits 4th Quarter, the
guy can play.
Terry’s Tool Time.
 |
| The gift that keeps on giving... |
People often approach me and
ask, "You, who are so wise in these ways, what exactly makes a tool?
Is it Ignorance? Meanness? Hubris? Disingenuousness?"
Yes. Yes. Yes. And
yes. Being a tool takes effort* - you have to work at it. And it's
clear that these guys gave great thought to their
·
Todd Graham. Pitt's head coach who quit after only one year,
opting to let his team know via text. You're the kind of coach I'd want
my children playing for. Yeah, right.
·
Les Miles. You cheat compete at the highest level year after
year, almost always in the BCS hunt… was it really necessary to throw Gunnar
Kiel under the bus for de-committing at the last moment? As Lisa
repeatedly says to me, "Who's the parent here?!" I guess it
really is true that character isn't made, it's revealed.
·
WR’s / DB’s. Somewhat irrespective of the outcome of the games,
watching football is supposed to be fun. A pleasurable experience,
reveling in the exploits of genetic freaks doing things one could only
imagine. And yet, increasingly, the diva-like behavior of the high
profile skill positions just incenses me. Who saw DeSean Jackson (on
Monday Night Football) or Stevie Johnson… or for that matter, Golden
Tate? And the DB’s are no better. One pass defensed and their arms
start waving back and forth, their heads start bobbing up and down. Yap yap
yap. For just doing what they’re paid to do. Well, in Terry World,
they need to be corrected… Feel The Wrath of Terry when my SWAT
team kicks in, poised high atop the press box roof, little tripods set up…
losing a replay is going to be the least of their worries, Boy-o.
·
Brent Musburger. I'm not a big fan of all the internet conspiracy
theorists who believe every major media outlet - and their announcing minions -
have it out for Notre Dame. If we'd win, they'd jump on the
bandwagon. Until we do, deal with it. But I simply just can't
listen to this man's voice anymore. Can't he just be… taken out?
*still trying to determine whether there
is also a genetic element.
"Johnny, We Hardly
Knew Ye…"
Truth be told, one of my
favorite parts of the Oscar telecast is when they scroll through This Year's
Dead Guys… they usually play an appropriately weepy Sarah McLaughlin
song and this year, there were indeed some notable folks who left us.
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
But none more so than the father
of one of own. As perhaps all of you know by now, JP's dad, Johnny
"Vegas" McGuire left us a few weeks back. It's not often
that one can say they've met someone who is genuinely 'larger than life' but in
my experience, Johnny was just that. Irish as the day is long with a near
pathological gift of gab, he wasn't just touched by the blarney stick, he was bludgeoned
by damn thing. (Probably could've filed a police report but no doubt
he and his assailant would've only ended up in a bar, best friends, planning
vacations together.)
But to describe him only in
social terms would be to ignore all the other incredible qualities of his
life. His home was your home, even when you arrive with walking pneumonia
and end up sweating through every sheet in their house, (as I once did).
Great dad. Great husband. Great
person. Rare breed. The world is far less enjoyable without you.
Recruiting.
 |
| The Urban Strikes Back |
To say that the Year in
Recruiting had a roller coaster aspect to it would be a profound
understatement. Strong 2011 start - with stud commitments at positions of
need (DB, WR), leveling off during the season as the elites took stock of the
schools they're considering, followed by a disappointing 'crash and burn' with
a few key defections on the final signing day, offset by late semi-surprising 4
and 5 star commitments at the QB / WR spots.
 |
| "If you win, they will come..." |
What's abundantly clear, going
forward, is this: winning matters. A lot. As much
weeping, wailing and gnashing of teeth that ND Nation directs at Urban Meyer
(and oh boy, buckle up for a heavy dose of that guy!), the fact is he finishes
strong because virtually every year his teams are in the BCS hunt. As
does LSU, Alabama, USC and this year, Michigan - 11 wins! (Do you think
they finished so well solely based on Brady Hoke's freakish Mike Golic likeness?)
Teenagers have attention spans of gnats… come January, most are thinking
"I wanna play early and I wanna play for a winner." Right
now, ND offers the former but is consistently shaky on the latter. It's a
wonder how we've recruited as well as we have the past few years…
Final observations
As bizarre of a season as this
past year was, it may largely be remembered as the beginning of the Early
Referendum on Brian Kelly. After 2010-11's promising close, expectations
were high. A ton of returning talent, an excellent recruiting class in
key areas of need and the optimism that comes with the prospect of Year II
continuity from a coaching staff entirely intact. Instead, what we
ultimately saw was the surprising bi-polar behavior of a coach who watched his senior
players (Jonas Gray, Dayne Crist, Gary Gray, even Michael Floyd)
self-destruct at the most inopportune times - and respond with, at best,
unprofessional behavior… losing his cool on national TV, calling out (and
possibly discriminating against) the prior regime's recruits and perhaps most
egregiously, manifesting a dangerous, counterproductive double standard in
evaluating the critical QB position.
The slate's now wiped clean. New
year. 0-0 record. What's it gonna be, coach? How you going to be
remembered? Tough, savvy, in control… with 2011 being a one-time
aberration? Or consistently unhinged and panicky on the largest media stage -
clearly in over your head?
It's
Never Too Early… the 2012 Schedule!
A couple observations:
·
I shudder to think
if we don't start 2-0.
·
Michigan - the last
year of seeing Denard. Great athlete but possibly the worst passing QB of any
Top 25 team, T. Rees notwithstanding. Will they come back to earth after
a year where everything broke right?
·
Stanford - No more
Luck and a depleted O-line, but it's hard to believe they're just going to
collapse. Is catching 'em in October good or bad?
·
Oklahoma -
Landry Jones comes back. At Norman. Eeek.
·
USC - Barkley
returns and they're bowl eligible. This season ending game is also
typically when USC QB's win their Heisman's. But a lot can happen by that
point so it's hard to predict the state of either team. And they're still
coached by Lane.
I speak for all of us all when I
say that I look forward to Lini's statistical analysis of how we'll get to
double digit wins. Like any great writer, Jerry understands that facts are a writer's ultimate limiter and should be avoided at any cost. I'm sure
he'll live up to that guideline.
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September
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October
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November
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|
1 Navy
(Dublin)
8 Purdue
15 @MSU
22 Michigan
29 OPEN
|
6 Miami
(Chgo) LINIPALOOZA
13 Stanford
20 BYU
27 @Oklahoma
|
3 Pittsburgh
10 @Boston
College
17 Wake Forest
24 @USC
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