"Und, I sink, it is just about time dat ve
had vone!!!
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Okay so that may be a bit of an
overreaction – but with every passing week it becomes crystal clear that the
Notre Dame football program, 2010 Edition, is a) not real good and b) not
terribly close to being real good. The Stanford effort (or lack thereof) was
disappointing on so many, many levels. But it’s always risky to draw any long
term proclamations so soon into a new regime - no matter how distressing the
early returns are. My strong
recommendation: re-set your expectations for this year on ‘minimal’ with a hope
for showing some consistent improvement over the course of the year.
And while you're doing that, ask yourself
how good wasStanford in Harbaugh’s Year One?
Pete Carroll’s Year One. Joe
Paterno’s Year One (okay we don’t actually know this since the original papyrus
on which it was recorded got unwittingly sealed in the tomb of Ramses II at Abu
Simbel). Fun fact: the assistant coach
responsible for that oversight was immediately sacked and it was the last time
Joe ever replaced anyone on his staff. (Thank God for formaldehyde.)
Word of the Week.
En•nui
noun \ˌän-ˈwē\ a feeling of
weariness and dissatisfaction: BOREDOM
Example:
…the kind of ennui that comes from having too much time on one's hands
and too little will to find something productive to do (see Corrigan, Terry).
Origin.
French, from Old French enui annoyance, from enuier to vex, from Late
Latin inodiare to make loathsome — more at annoy.
Synonyms: blahs, doldrums, boredom,
listlessness, restlessness, tedium, weariness.
(Special recognition must go out to Mr.
Rasmus for suggesting this word – bullseye!
Thank you, Bob. Could there be a better word to capture the feelings of
watching one of the worse – and dullest – games in recent memory?)
What has also become clear is that this
year has been spectacular for pre (and post) game entertainment.
This week’s highlight took the form of a
latter day version of The Big Chill. (I think I was the Jeff Goldblum
character.) You all remember that slice
of ‘80s culture: a group of close
university friends gather together when one of their mates, the charismatic
Alex, suddenly offs himself, leaving the close knit group to essentially
wonder, What The Hell?! Spoiler alert if
you're one of the six people over 50 who never saw the movie: the gang never do
figure out the enigma that was their pal.
But they do eat, drink, dance, smoke dope, play Motown music and
reminisce enough to make the otherwise macabre occasion a fantastic re-bonding
opportunity. Woo hoo!! Tragic Alex, he shan’t have died in vain!!
Fast forward to Friday night in SW Michigan
with the Ward-Gordon-Lohn-Langhenry-Maher-Richmond-Borkowski gang where pretty
much the same script played out. (Only
this time, unbeknownst to us, The Role of Alex-The-Corpse Was To Be Played By
The Notre Dame Football Team.) It too
was a rocking great time – fantastic pasta and so much wine (including the
small warehouse that Gordo brought and the 2nd bottle of Marcel’s “Tom Feifar”
super Tuscan) that by evening’s end, I think I actually joined a local militia.
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| "Please don't make me watch any more Notre Dame 3rd and long's" |
No doubt an unfortunate coincidence that
the aforementioned stiff was named Alex because when I began to watch a tape of
the NBC telecast, I couldn’t help but think of another Alex, the protagonist in
Stanley Kubrick’s (and author Anthony Burgess’s) iconic “A Clockwork
Orange”. A sociopathic reprobate who
enjoys raping and maiming in a dystopian world – while listening to Ludwig
van’s 9th Symphony no less – Alex ultimately has his behavior modified through
a government program that forces him to watch violent visuals which make him
physically ill. Only now do I fully
understand the power of that final sequence.
But I digress.
Observations from The Tailgater(s).
•
Pictures really do say a 1000 words.
"This bottle? It's, um, medicine..."
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"Typically people stand when they're in my presence..."
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Observations from The Game.
After watching Jeff Samardzija walk like a
dozen guys in an 8-7 loss on Sunday, I realized that many of the axioms of
sport are thus because they're actually true!
Imagine that. Like if you walk a
bunch of guys in baseball, you're usually going to pay for it, Jeff. And in football, especially ND football,
it’s:
It’s
all about the play of the two lines. And both of ours were dominated. To be
somewhat fair, the Stanford O-line, which had its way with us, is very
experienced and the strength of their unit.
QB
is the most important guy on offense. We
go as Dayne goes, unfortunately. And
right now, that is not good news. And
while there is much justifiable trepidation about whether he is, in fact, The
Answer, try and remember what you thought about Quinn or Clausen in Years I
& II. It definitely wasn’t that they
were the 2nd Coming of Joe Montana.
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| "But coach, that trick never works..." |
Coaching
matters. Play calling, especially on the crucial 3rd (or as the case may be,
4th) downs was, at best, curious. At worst, critical plays look like they’re
being called by Bullwinkle J. Moose who used to famously attempt scatterbrain
tricks and say, “Nothing up my sleeve – presto!” Sadly, there really wasn’t anything up ole
Bullwinkle’s sleeve..
Theory:
maybe Kelly hasn’t yet figured out that this team’s ability to execute isn’t
yet as proficient as he’s had in his recent past. In any event, Kelly’s
aggressiveness has cost us some important points.
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| "I predict Teo will make 1 million tackles..." |
Talent
matters too. One man’s opinion: we have three good-to-very-good players on
Defense (Ian Williams, Teo and Gary Gray) – everyone else are just… guys.
• As
an aside, did Manti make every play – or did it just seem that way?
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| "Cierre, it's time for football practice..." |
Special
teams matter.
• Good
news: our kicker rocks! So we’ve got
that going for us.
• Bad
news: But our kick-off returner is a bit
of a prima ballerina.
Song of the Week.
Roger Waters played several shows this week
at The United Stadium, focused totally on the “The Wall”. Apparently it was killer but at $250 / pop,
my jones for a Pink Floyd experience waned, metaphorically speaking. But with a nod to one of rock’s great icons
as well as the game, this week’s offering must be “Comfortably Numb”. Ostensibly about the thrill of a heroin
rush, one could say that being a Notre Dame football fan these days is
equally coma inducing and self destructive.
When I was a child I caught a fleeting glimpse
Out of the corner of my eye
I turned to look but it was gone
I cannot put my finger on it now
The child is grown the dream is gone
I have become comfortably numb
Tool of the Week.
1. Braylon
Edwards. Your team pays for a car
service that’ll pick you up anytime anywhere, anonymously… you blow a .17 on
the breathalyzer (2x the limit for those counting) and you still decide to
drive home? Later, you tell the media
that you don’t understand what’s BFD…
Knucklehead, Thy Name Is Braylon.
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| "Jimmy H - tool or no tool?!" |
2. Jim
Harbaugh. Going for 2pts when you're up
26-6 with 8 minutes left against an
opponent who didn’t look like they could score against a strong wind? Hmmm. No one has made any kind of issue about
it but it certainly got my attention.
Hopefully, Jim, you were just practicing for rubbing it in vs. USC. Again.
Schadenfreude Winner of the Week.
> Lusted for ‘Bama, really hoped for Penn
State, settled for Texas.
Recruiting Buzz.
Interesting blurb on NBC Sports / Notre
Dame web page about the recruiting battles going on between the two smarty
pants schools (Stanford and ND) who compete over those rarest of birds, great
athletes that seem to actually be reasonably good students. Check it out:
http://irish.nbcsports.com/2010/09/stanford-and-irish-wage-war-in-recruiting.html.php
The Wager.
Matt, Jerry and Ted, thanks for playing.
Now take a seat. Like lambs to the
slaughter, next up for extinction are Corrigan-Rasmus-Feifar-Thompson-Behrens. And it’s looking like nobody winning could
be a distinct possibility.
So we need to discuss a 2nd wager –
someone’s gotta win this thing!
Here’s a proposition: what if, up to the Pitt game kickoff, one
were given the option to buy (for another $25) the chance to flip your
wager? That is to say, an original 8-4 prediction
can become a 4-8 bet. The 10-2 guys can stand pat or if they’re genuinely
despondent, could flip to a 2-10 guess.
It expands the pool and gives most, maybe
not all , the chance at a realistic recalibration. And the Albertville folk who predicted well,
aren’t necessarily penalized…
What say ye?
If not, other ideas certainly welcome…
Literary final thought.
The 18th century French satirist Voltaire once
said, “If God did not exist, it would be
necessary to invent him." Misinterpreted at the time as a
frighteningly cynical thought of the highest order – he was actually railing
against atheists – the witty Frenchman was widely castigated. But in my
convoluted logic, I find this thought to be an optimistic one. And relevant.
Putting aside the basis of the thought, the fact is everyone needs something to
be hopeful about and for some (many?) it could be the concept of a benevolent
Higher Being. For the Notre Dame football fan, it’s… I actually
don’t know what it is… but just maybe it’s the idea of something Bigger &
Better being only a little further down the road. One can’t give up,
can’t stop thinking they won’t ultimately turn it around.
Then again, I could be totally full of hooey.
I do seem to recall that in ‘The Usual Suspects” a mirror
opposite statement (‘the greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world
he didn't exist’) was also uttered. So maybe we’re just screwed. Maybe the cards are
stacked against the program… a tough schedule w the patsies not coming until
the season’s already in the toilet, academic restrictions that keep us from
getting a sufficient number of the really bound-for-the-NFL studs, coaches that
are overhyped...
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| "Hellllooo women's soccer!" |
But if that were the case, what would we tailgate for?
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| "It's getting pretty cold out here..." |
A lone, dull-witted, vigilant sentry waits for the Return of
The Program… but when?!
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